Another good one, Maarten. Interesting counterpoint: When, aged 12 or so, I asked my dad if I would get a reward if I got a good end-of-year report, like all the other children did. He very clearly said No—you'll get a reward if you do badly, as compensation; doing well is the reward itself. That always stuck with me, and maybe played some part in my resistance to the "corporate ladder". Instead, I followed my passions. It has left me a whole lot poorer than my peers, but I don't think worse off. Nevertheless, I am not immune to proxies, and seeing you call them out as you did is very good food for thought. It will, I hope, heighten my awareness.
Yeah, it's hard, and sometimes I also still chase proxies, like recognition or praise. The activity itself should be fulfilling and satisfy your soul, and that's the true reward. which we seem to understand more as kids :) somehow.
I really appreciate the thoughts shared Maarten! I am reminded of the proverb: The plans of the diligent surely lead to success, but all who are hasty surely head for poverty. Let's work hard and make sure we are focused on the right things, both in our personal lives as well as professional life.
This proxy conversation you started, Maarten, really has me thinking. It has to start with how kids are raised, I suppose. This epiphany - or it may come as one, as an adult - is more comprehensible (if not digestible) as an adult. Really enjoyable topic to mull.
Probably another word to describe this is nirvana. We are told many nirvanas out there that we should pursuit and go, but probably no one has ever been to there and know what they look like.
Another good one, Maarten. Interesting counterpoint: When, aged 12 or so, I asked my dad if I would get a reward if I got a good end-of-year report, like all the other children did. He very clearly said No—you'll get a reward if you do badly, as compensation; doing well is the reward itself. That always stuck with me, and maybe played some part in my resistance to the "corporate ladder". Instead, I followed my passions. It has left me a whole lot poorer than my peers, but I don't think worse off. Nevertheless, I am not immune to proxies, and seeing you call them out as you did is very good food for thought. It will, I hope, heighten my awareness.
Yeah, it's hard, and sometimes I also still chase proxies, like recognition or praise. The activity itself should be fulfilling and satisfy your soul, and that's the true reward. which we seem to understand more as kids :) somehow.
Have you read "Punished by Rewards" by Alfie Kohn? He goes deep into this topic, with some excellent case studies.
I've got the book in my library, still have to read it, I've bumped it up :)
I really appreciate the thoughts shared Maarten! I am reminded of the proverb: The plans of the diligent surely lead to success, but all who are hasty surely head for poverty. Let's work hard and make sure we are focused on the right things, both in our personal lives as well as professional life.
Yes, it's easy to chase fata morganas and lose yourself in the process!
This proxy conversation you started, Maarten, really has me thinking. It has to start with how kids are raised, I suppose. This epiphany - or it may come as one, as an adult - is more comprehensible (if not digestible) as an adult. Really enjoyable topic to mull.
Yeah, it's hard to put my finger on when I realized it, but I think far too late ;)
Probably another word to describe this is nirvana. We are told many nirvanas out there that we should pursuit and go, but probably no one has ever been to there and know what they look like.